Well, the last post I wrote was when my babe turned a year old and here we are a couple of months past his second birthday !! I can't tell you how many times I've sat in bed and thought of a blog post I wanted to write in the past year and just forgot to actually do it. It's amazing and crazy to me just how quickly a year actually goes by. I remember when I was a little girl, a year felt like f o r e v e r , seriously, summers lasted so long, a week felt like an eternity, and one day seemed to drag on ...not anymore !! I swear, the older I get the faster time goes, add having a child on to that and time really zooms by.
Anyway, enough of that...My boy is a little over 2 years old and my mama heart can hardly believe/take it. I swear to you it feels like yesterday I was sobbing at 4 am with his sweet newborn self latched to my boob, crying tears of happiness....How has it already been 2 years? I love being a mama more than anything, truly more than ANYTHING in the entire world, but it is also the craziest, most emotionally draining, rewarding, happiest, and scariest experience of my life. Every single day with him is the best day of my life and I couldn't be happier or feel more blessed. I just wish time didn't pass so quickly. I wish I could hold on to the moments with him forever, or rewind and relive them anytime I wanted..I guess I sort of can do this because I film everything, but you know what I mean.
I try my best to stay in each moment, to smell his sweet baby smell, to snuggle, to play, to laugh, to hug, to love, to really listen to him when he talks (HE TALKS NOW GUYS !!) and to not get caught up in every day tasks, worries, and stresses, and to truly remember that these days are sweet, but they are passing by in the blink of an eye, and one day he won't be my little babe, he'll be my grown son...and I'll yearn for these moments and cry for these memories...UGH. Mama emotions !! I also try to cherish the time we have together, especially right now as my husband is currently deployed and we have lots of days that are spent just the two of us (Mase and I ) and I try really hard to just enjoy them, and I do, but I also have this ache in my heart, knowing that he won't remember these days, our little snuggles and talks, our dancing around the house as he yells "dance mama!" , the way he looks at me for approval and puckers his little lips and smiles when I tell him "good job" ugh. Why, why won't he remember? It's weird isn't it? I wish I could remember these moments and special times with my mom when I was his age. Life is just crazy.
Alright, enough sadness for one blogpost...Most of this was happy though, I just let my mama emotions go crazy sometimes but then I bring myself back to the moment, and take a look over at my sweet boy next to me memorizing flags and saying them back to me, smiling the whole time. He makes my heart whole, whether or not he remembers these days, they will always be my favorite and I'll cherish them forever. <3
you'll always be my best boy, Mase.
xoxo
V
